Authenticity!

By its dictionary definition, authenticity is The quality of being authentic, of undisputed origin. Genuine.

Heard it, read it, seems very familiar, but it isn’t so simple.

Just What Is Authenticity, Anyway?

Psychologists long assumed authenticity was something too intangible to measure objectively. There are plenty of write ups available on this, but I personally prefer the findings of Michael Kernis and Goldman who after reviewing several philosophical and psychological literature came up with a technical description of authenticity as "the unimpeded operation of one's true or core self in one's daily enterprise"

At the corner stone of this finding is Self-awareness: knowledge of and trust in one's own motives, emotions, preferences, and abilities. Self-awareness encompasses an inventory of issues from the sublime to the profane, from knowing what food you like to how likely you are to quit smoking to whether you're feeling anxious or sad. Know it? Indeed, but it is important to clearly emphasize this to understand authenticity.

It's necessary for clarity in evaluating your strengths and importantly your weaknesses: acknowledging when you've screwed up, without resorting to denial or blame. Authenticity requires acting in ways congruent with your own values and needs, even at the risk of criticism or rejection.

A sense of authenticity is accompanied by a multitude of benefits. People high on the authenticity profile are also more likely to respond to difficulties with effective coping strategies, rather than resorting to self-destructive habits. They often report having satisfying relationships. They enjoy a strong sense of self-worth and purpose, confidence in mastering challenges, and the ability to follow through in pursuing goals. The fact is that we tend to flourish under the most challenging circumstances, and enduring the pain and confusion that often accompany them can bring out the best—and most authentic—in us, fostering such deeply satisfying qualities as wisdom, insight, and creativity.

And those with a low authenticity profile are likely to be defensive, suspicious, confused, and easily overwhelmed.

Considering the psychological payoffs, "Why, then, is not everybody authentic?"
In the current social context, there could be a multitude of reasons, ranging from upbringing issues, lack of quality time with parents or family, to the barrage of distracting elements from internet to media etc etc, which of course provide “information” outward but do they really help “inward”, to what extent is questionable. This is even more important, during the formative years when the personality of an individual gets pretty much defined.

How do you know the lack of authenticity? Well Inauthentic behavior, choices and actions
Most of us experience inauthenticity, as vague dissatisfaction, a sense of emptiness, or the sting of self-betrayal. If you've ever complimented the chef on an inedible meal, interviewed for a job you hoped you wouldn't get, or agreed with your spouse/dad just to smooth things over, you know the feeling.
Inauthenticity might also be experienced on a deeper level as a loss of engagement in some, mostly in later stages of life. “ I could have lived life the way I wanted!”

And why do we do so then, easy way out? External pressure can push us to make decisions we wouldn’t normally make. Our brains can be extremely skilled in both self-deception and convincing others about our choices, even if we know that they are not truly aligned with our convictions. Reminiscent of sentences you hear, “Yeah I’ve applied for my IIT too”, “My son is a techie too”. Can’t stop recalling Hrithik in Lakshya (for those who have seen the movie) complaining, why his friend doesn’t want to join the army anymore!!

The point is, isn’t it important to question the norms, allow space and time for the generations to come to grow on their terms, authentically! Had some of the famous personalities had not been so “authentic”, we wouldn’t know them today! But everyone need not be a famous personality; the case is to be authentic. Wait.!

As much as you can?!To what extent? Depends how much one can endure, being authentic is not for the faint hearted as it has a potential downside. Accurate self knowledge can be painful and more so being authentic takes hard work against a background of conformity, superficiality, exhibitionism, and lots of other unique individuals. One often has to set aside the kind of shallow, short-lived pleasure we get from, say, acquiring things, to a deeper, more meaningful state in which gratification is not usually immediate. Sissies need not apply!

Without being prescriptive, allow or provide every child or teenager to be themselves, support should only mean questioning their thought process to the point that they have all the answers or to change direction. As a consequence self awareness and authenticity builds and grows

It’s almost excitingly intimidating, the presence of an authentic person, than to a qualified “hollow” pushover!